Did you hear…?
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant’s milk and gained nine kilograms in a week?
(A: 你有聽說有個寶寶在喝了一週的象乳之後,體重增加了 九公斤嗎?)
B: That’s impossible. Whose baby?
(B: 那不可能吧。誰的寶寶?)
A: An elephant’s.
(A: 大象的。)
All by himself
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
(老師說:你爸爸有協助你做功課嗎?)
Student: No. he did it all by himself.
(學生:沒有。他全部都自己寫。)
By oneself 意思是「某人自己做、自己來」,因為老師想要知道的是爸爸有沒有「協助」孩子做功課,沒想到孩子的回答是爸爸沒有幫忙,而是直接「自己來」幫孩子寫!
My baby brother can finally use the bathroom by himself!
(我的弟弟終於會自己一個人上廁所了!)
Are you shellfish?
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
(為什麼蝦子不分享他的寶藏?)
Because he was a little shellfish.
(因為他是一個小甲殼類。)
NO IDEA!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(一個沒有眼睛的鹿叫做什麼?)
NO IDEA (no-eye-deer)!
(叫做 No Idea/no-eye-deer!)
Note:
冷笑話,在英文里又称为 dad jokes,因爸爸们常说些不好笑,或是只有自己觉得好笑的笑话,故得名。